3 Ways Your Therapist Going to Therapy Benefits You
Photo by Matthew Ball on Unsplash
So, you just found out your therapist has their own therapist, and now you’re concerned that maybe they’re not as healthy and “together” as you had hoped. Unfortunately, even amongst those of us who are clients ourselves, there is still a stigma around seeking help for mental health. Here are 3 reasons why you shouldn’t worry about your therapist going to therapy and how in fact, it benefits you, the client.
Your therapist shares with you an intimate understanding of what it’s like to be a client. This means they too have experienced the difficulty of finding the right therapist. They too have experienced the anxiety and fear many clients have when they start therapy. Your therapist knows exactly how it feels to sit on the other side of that couch and share the scary, painful, shameful, ugly parts of themselves because they’ve had to be vulnerable just like you. Your therapist knows how hard it is to do this work because they’re doing it right along with you.
As a therapist who was, at one point, looking for trauma therapy in Pasadena, I remember how frustrating it was to search through dozens upon dozens of Psychology Today profiles, comb through endless Google search results and send out countless inquiries until I found a good fit. I remember vividly the feelings that came up around sharing my own story and allowing someone to really see me. I know that some days therapy feels great and other days it doesn’t. Being dedicated to doing the work can really suck sometimes, and I keep all of this in mind in my work as a therapist specializing in trauma and couples therapy.
Your therapist going to therapy means that they have life experiences and or traumas that they’re working through. Undoubtedly, some of their experiences are shared by their clients; perhaps even by you. This puts them in a unique position to empathize with and understand their clients in a way others can’t.
As a therapist with my own history, I am often able to relate with my clients on a personal level. This is especially evident when I work with parents of young children. Some of my favorite work is with parents, because I’m a parent as well. I empathize with the unique challenges parents face and I love being able to provide support, education, and deeper understanding for parents who are struggling.
This last one is my favorite and the one I want to emphasize the most. You should be glad your therapist is going to therapy because it means they are doing the hard work to heal their own stuff so that it doesn’t get in the way of their work with you. We call this countertransference. Countertransference happens when the therapist’s own material is triggered by something the client brings to session. For example, a therapist with a history of domestic violence may experience countertransference with a client in an abusive marriage. Another example might be a therapist who has a client that reminds them deeply of their favorite Aunt. Countertransference doesn’t have to be a bad thing, but it can muddy the therapeutic waters if the therapist allows it to. This is why being in therapy is so important for therapists. A therapist who is committed to healing themselves can recognize countertransference when it comes up so that it can inform therapy, rather than interfere with it.
Every therapist experiences countertransference, myself included. When I see clients in my psychotherapy office in Pasadena, my own material occasionally comes into the room. Fortunately, with the work I’ve done in my own personal therapy and with the support I get from clinical supervision, I’m able to use my countertransference to the benefit of my clients, which has made me a much better therapist.
So now that you know why your therapist going to therapy is actually a positive thing, how do you feel about it? While it’s not appropriate to ask for personal details, it’s totally ok to ask your therapist how being a client has influenced them in their work.
Considering going to therapy? Reach out! I’m offering a free 15 minute consultation to all California residents. Let’s see if we’re a good fit.
